Emotions

Can someone tell me how I’m supposed to react? Tell me how I’m supposed to feel. Are these feelings of hurt all unreasonable because I’ve put the person I’m with through the same, if not worse pain? I ask you all, is an apology and following through with my promises NOT enough to make up for the mistakes that I’ve made in the past? 

“Now you know how it feels. Now you know how I felt all of those times.”

Those are the exact words that you said to me. The words that completely and utterly broke me. These words echoed through the walls of that cold stairwell as you sat on the steps and looked up at me. You stared at me hard, so as these words might spite me more than they already had. All I could do was look at this person that I thought cared about me and how much he could hurt me with a few words. I was in disbelief. I could feel my face getting hot, and tears stream down my face.

“Is this what relationships are about? Revenge? Retaliation? Because of the mistakes I’ve made, does that mean that all my sincere apologies meant nothing? Did the promise I made and followed through with fall short somehow?” I thought I was showing you how much our relationship meant to us by trying to be a better person. But I guess that’s not enough. I thought we were ready to move forward and be better, be better for you, for me, and for us. However, that wasn’t the case tonight. 

I’m sorry that my utmost and sincerest apologies and actions couldn’t get through your anger. I’m sorry that I’m not strong enough to follow through with this anymore. Please, just please. Don’t come after me.

Posted on January 22nd at 5:59 AM

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